Fever - I Don't Have It

Here's the thing, I feel lonely. I feel used and abused then cast aside like a day old undie. Mother won't chat but calls to learn how to set the dvd recorder, friends won't return texts or calls. It's like I never existed. Damn the World Cup! Is this how it feels to be the only one without "the fever"? I remember being in Spain in 1998 just as the world cup was starting. Streets were empty! The game wasn't being held in Spain but in neighbouring France! Now imagine how it is in Africa. I can only bet that companies and government agencies on each continent apart from North America (excluding Mexico) will not expect much from their employees between now and July 11th. Might as well give everyone a month off! Capital FM Kenya put together this list of survival tips to live by during this one month. Take heed; I have already failed step one.

1. From 11 June to 11 July 2010, you should read the sport pages so you are aware of what's going on regarding the World Cup and will be able to join in conversations. If you fail to do this, you'll be looked at in a bad way or be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.
2. During the World Cup the television is mine, mine, mine at all times without any exceptions.

3. I don't mind if you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand naked in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I won't have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute - unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor....it won't happen.

To read the rest, visit http://www.capitalfm.co.ke/radio/wassupdetails.php?showwhatsupId=525#ixzz0qYOd4uXx